Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Choosing the Bright Side

I found out this morning (at 12:25 a.m. to be exact) that 2 of my boys and their little brother went home with their bio mom for Christmas break. This means that I may or may not see them when I go to Romania later this week.
George and Iulian (on the far left and far right of the picture above) are 2 of the kids I've been closest to for years. Iuli especially. He's my "baby" :) My heart is grieving and I'm definitely a but stressed. They have promised to call but will they be able? Will they get anything for Christmas? Will they have enough food? Will they be safe? This is the first time since they came to the orphanage about 4 years ago that I have heard of their mother taking them home. Of course I'm worried! And sad. And hopeful. I don't want my kids to be orphans but selfishly I want them to be my sons. Oh man, this is definitely one of those "faith testing moments." Thanks, God. Happy holidays indeed.

But I'm choosing to look at the bright side in all of this. I'm choosing peace. I'm choosing belief in a God who is greater than everything. Maybe if I keep repeating this mantra all day then it will actually stick because, honestly, choosing to be calm and peaceful about this is hard.

However, I was reminded of something else that is making this easier. I was reminded of Ionut (in the center of the picture above) and Nicu
and Albina
and Marian, and Marius, and Diana, and...the list could go on and on. Of course I never forgot about them. I just didn't think about how God might need me to be with them this year. Maybe they need me now in a way that if George and Iulian and Florin were there I might miss. Yes, I'm excited to go and see them and see how God will use me on this trip. I remember that after my first trip years ago I prayed that when I returned I might get even just 1 day with Iulian again. I would travel halfway around the world just to spend an hour with that kid. I'm still praying that prayer for this trip. Lord, just give me 1 day with him and George. Just 1. But it's true for the others too. I would travel halfway around the world just for 1 day with Ionut, Nicu, Albina, Marian, Marius, Diana...especially if I knew they needed me.

I know it's selfish but would you please pray that I will get to see George and Iulian at least once while I'm in Romania? I want to know that they are safe and ok. And pray that I will keep choosing to see the bright side so that I'm emotionally available for the other kids. Thanks!

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