Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Saying Good-Bye

Dear friends,

It is with a very heavy heart that I have to tell you that last Wednesday I had to make the extremely difficult and gut wrenching decision to have my sweet kitty, Penelope, put to sleep.
One of my all time favorite pictures of Penelope
Penelope's health issues began last spring when she had a benign lump removed from the inside of her mouth. Unfortunately, before we caught it she had stopped eating and begun to lose weight.
Penelope, the early years...definitely not being defiant.
Penelope enjoyed being in the thick of things...and chewing paper.
She also liked to get into stuff she knew she wasn't supposed to be in.
Things got worse over the summer when Penelope developed an abscessed tooth. Again, we had trouble figuring out for the longest time what was going on (remember the visit to the specialist?) and she had lost more weight.
She was always very "helpful."
And willing to lend a hand.
She didn't quite bounce back from the abscessed tooth removal like I'd hoped. She went on a semi-liquid diet and then a liquid diet. There were multiple rounds of pain meds and antibiotics. Despite my best efforts she continued to lose weight and eating and drinking became more of a struggle as she was obviously still in discomfort. On top of all that, she was getting weaker and weaker.
Penelope loved vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. I hope she ate a big bowl when she got to Heaven.
After a hair cut.
Deciding to say good-bye to Penelope was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I was truly blessed to have an amazing vet and vet tech who came out to the house so that Penelope was in my lap, on her favorite blanket, holding her Mr. Lobster toy when she passed.
The heartache I have felt over the past week has been crushing at times. Penelope was my constant companion, my best and most loyal friend, my bougie partner in crime, and my baby. She was with me through some of my highest highs and my lowest lows. I will miss her taking up more than her fair share of the bed, trying to get a taste of everything that I'm eating, snuggling each night, and crying loudly for attention.
See what I mean about the bed thing...
Does this face not demand your attention?
The hole she left in my heart will never be filled. No one, animal or human, will ever take her place. One day, though, I hope the edges around the hole will be a little less jagged. The tears a little slower to come. The smiles when thinking about her more frequent.

In Revelation 21 it talks about the New Heaven and New Earth. It talks about how God will wipe every tear from every eye and there will be no more mourning. And then God speaks from the throne and says, "Behold, I am making all things new." (Revelation 21:5, emphasis added). I truly believe this means everything: people, animals, trees, the oceans, the land...everything. I believe that Penelope is waiting for me in Heaven and that she has been made new. And I know I will see her again...just not yet.

Grieve not, nor speak of me with tears,
but laugh and talk of me as if I were beside you...
I love you so - 'twas Heaven here with you.

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