Third Time's a Charm

This morning I had to take Princess Penelope to the internal medicine specialist.

"I hate you."

As you may remember we have been trying to figure out Penelope's mysterious illness for almost a week now. Initially it was thought to be her kidneys. But her kidneys looked good. Then it was thought it was her liver. But her liver levels were fine. Today it was determined that it is likely her pancreas. Side note: She actually has a really gnarly looking cyst on her liver but the doc said it was actually ok.

Penelope had another ultrasound and an x-ray. She also had bloodwork sent off to determine 100% for sure it is the pancreas. The doctor said the pancreas was enlarged and that many of the symptoms (which are also similar to kidney and liver disease) can be caused by pancreatitis.  She thinks that it is a chronic issue that has been giving her fits in the past (and possibly causing her to lose to weight over the past 2 years). We will know by Tuesday for sure. We should also know how bad things are as well. The doctor put her on a daily pill (Lord help us) so the next challenge will be trying to get her to take that. On Tuesday we should know if anything else is needed (fluids, antibiotics, etc.).

Penelope has spent the rest of her day since coming home walking around, eating, and drinking some cat milk.

She's not 100% back to her old self but hopefully she will be feeling better in a few days.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! Hopefully the worst is behind us and we can focus on managing the pain and other issues for many looooong years.

Kitty Follow Up

Kitty Update: July 13, 2014

Photo from the patient's file.

Got a call from the vet today. Penelope's kidney levels are slightly elevated. Given her breed, the vet thinks that Penelope might have cysts on her kidneys and one may have ruptured throwing her whole system off. The condition is manageable but we need to pinpoint that this is the issue. Penelope is going back to the vet's early tomorrow morning to have an ultrasound.

I know that a cat seems like a small thing but I believe that God put me in protection of her little life and I intend to do just that. She has been my faithful companion and truest (albeit, most barf prone) friend since she decided to adopt me six years ago. I realize that many people are going through much bigger things and I get that. This blog is about transparency and right now I'm stressed to the max about the one little animal I've been put in charge of on a day to day basis.

So yeah, she's a big deal to me.

I'm praying that tomorrow Penelope will behave for her ultrasound. I'm praying that the vet will clearly be able to see what's wrong and that this will be something that Penelope can bounce back from quickly and we can manage easily for a long, long time. I'm praying that there aren't a whole lot of other cysts and that if one did rupture that it's not too big and nasty as to cause lots of pain for long periods of time.

Again, if you think I'm being ridiculous...I get it. To some people their pets are just that, pets. But I've been raised to care for God's creation in a loving and gentle manner and we've always treated our pets like part of the family. And God has intrusted us with some pretty difficult creatures (we had a dog and a cat with kidney disease and a cat with a heart murmur...this is all familiar territory for us). I fully believe though that He gave us these animals because without us they would have suffered. And no creature deserves to live that way.

Poor Penelope

Dear friends, I'm struggling. My kitty, the Queen of Bougie-ness, my constant companion, my baby, Penelope, is not feeling well.

Penelope in better times.

It started with a few signs that I wrote off: not waking me up in the middle of the night, drinking lots more water than usual, not crying for me at the top the stairs, peeing a lot more, not eating her cat treats...but then it took a turn for the worse. She completely stopped eating and spent two whole days in the back of my closet. By the time I took her to the vet on Saturday she hadn't eaten in almost two days and she was so tired and lethargic that she didn't even hiss or complain while the vet did a head to toe exam.

The good (bad?) news is that nothing is obviously and apparently wrong with her. No sores in her mouth (which she has had before), her heart murmur is not too bad (still low grade), no obstructions, no lumps, the toenail she lost last week is growing back well with no signs of infection, no temperature...the vet took blood work and I should know by Monday the results.

At this point I don't know what to hope and pray for. Do I want the blood work to come back showing nothing (and be happy that she doesn't have something long term and chronic)? Do I want it to come back telling me she has diabetes, kidney disease, or thyroid problems (so at least I can pinpoint what is wrong and start to treat that)? I would take the first option over the second if she would just start eating again. Then I would know that things aren't *too* bad yet. But if she doesn't start eating and the blood work comes back clean then we are at square one and we have to run more tests.

Chill-maxin' at the old apartment.

I know that this is one of those "trust in God" moments. But as a "parent" I want to make things all better. I want to fix the problem. Side note: If this is how I am with a cat imagine how I am with my kids. But I can't. I can't get her to talk to me and tell me what's wrong. I can't force her to eat (well, technically I can but I don't think it would be pretty). I just have to wait and pray.

Worrywart: Hypochondriac Edition

I am a bona fide worrywart. My incessant anxiety issues will probably come up multiple times on this blog in various forms. I can find anything to worry about and often do. There is almost always something I can find to work myself up about. This weekend, for example, I had a brief episode of hypochondria.

My Myers-Brigg's personality is an INTJ. I thrive on logic and order and I value intelligence. However, because I can get stuck in my own head and I like to come to a conclusion before fully fleshing ideas out, sometimes I come up with the "worst case scenario" and assume that to be the truth. At various points in my life I have been afraid that I had botulism, a brain tumor, AIDS, and various forms of cancer (never mind the very obvious reasons why I would have none of these issues). Take, for example, this classic freakout about the brain tumor...

Me: I'm totally freaking out!
Best Friend: Why?
M: I think I might have a brain tumor.
BF: Why would you think that?
M: I've been having these weird migraine-type headaches for the last few weeks.
BF: You don't have a brain tumor.
M: I might!
BF: You don't have a brain tumor.
M: I could!
BF: You don't.
M: Well, I'm going to the doctor and I'm going to ask them and what if they tell me that I have a brain tumor?!?
BF: They're not going to tell you that you have a brain tumor because you don't have one. You are more likely to have a tumor on your ass.
M: Yeah!!! Well, what if I go to the doctor and they tell me that I have a brain tumor on my ass?!?! What then?!?!

Just a sampling of my ridiculous thinking.

Needless to say, WebMD has become a frienemy of mine. It offers hope in one paragraph ("Migraines can be a sign of the following: stress, lack of sleep, looking at the sun too long..." Excellent! I'll just take a nap everyday!) and life destroying damnation in the next ("...cancer, leprosy, and brain eating bacteria." Great, I'm pretty much dead.)

It also really helps that my mother, aunt, and grandmother enjoy watching true crime and hospital horror shows. They have a weird, soul crushing story for everything. Cut your finger? They saw a story about someone who lost the entire right side of their body after an infection seeped in through a paper cut. Feeling dizzy? They watched a program about an entire school of children who contracted a rare disease that caused them to feel dizzy and then suddenly drop dead two days later. If you are looking for comfort from them you are likely not to find it. The icing on the cake is mentioning an ailment to them and ending up in a 2 hour conversation about all the horrible and bizarre things they have heard about people who had the exact same thing that you did. Oh, and P.S. they all ended up dead. But you're likely to pull through! :::pat on the back:::

This weekend I was pretty sure I had contracted some awful disease. I won't even tell you my symptoms or what I thought was going on because, thinking about it in hindsight, I can see how it was all simply crazy-pants. I'm not saying that there isn't cause for concern when things do go wrong. But let's face the facts: I've had good check ups from my doctor for the last several years. I eat relatively healthy and work out 4-5 times a week. I take supplements and vitamins. This doesn't make me invincible by any means but I have managed to escape several rounds of respiratory issues and stomach viruses this winter.

So, no. I'm pretty sure I don't have pneumonia of the pinky toe. But since I've just proclaimed my current, healthy state of existence I'm pretty certain that next week I will come down with the flu.