Love is in the air...

It's so good to be back in Romania! There was lots of love this month...not just because we celebrated Valentine's Day but also because the kids were ready to share their love with me again after being gone on furlough. Sunday mornings continue to be one of my favorite times with the kids and it was good to get back into the program that Heather and I had initially set of worship music, weekly Bible story review, and then prayer stations. We always have some amazing moments with the kids during this time where they share parts of their story that we have never heard, share how they are truly feeling, or show their trust in and desire for God in unexpected ways.

Life Skills (therapy) sessions and Character Classes continue to go well. Many of the kids are showing improvement both in and out of sessions. It is huge blessing to be able to work with other Heart to Heart staff members who are willing to help enforce boundaries and procedures that help the kids deal with their emotions in a positive way. While I was in the States I took a training to become a Certified Anger Management Specialist. As part of the training I need to lead several anger management groups over the next six months. I have started two groups at Voluntari, one with four younger kids and one with three older boys. The older boys in particular have really enjoyed the group and have even asked that we continue for "5 months" (their exact words)!

Even though there is still snow on the ground, summer planning is already under way! Heather and I have been meeting weekly with Jen and Jenny to begin talking about curriculum, themes, interns, and teams. It is exciting to have the ball rolling so early in the year and we hope and pray that it will mean a smoother, more enjoyable summer for everyone involved.

Coming up in March...

Character Classes, Life Skills sessions, Sunday morning praise and prayer, Anger Management groups, Youth Groups, and Bible Class will continue throughout March. At the end of March we will be welcoming the CCC and Mission Possible teams. We also have a gathering for the transition graduates planned for later in March.

Giving and Support Information

As many of you probably know, I am planning to extend my stay here in Romania past my initial three year commitment. I pray that you will prayerfully consider supporting my ministry in the years to come. If you are already giving there is no need to "recommit"; simply continue with your monthly giving plan as established. If you would like to begin supporting me, please use the link below to visit Heart to Heart's giving page and start your giving plan today. www.h2hint.org/index.php/h2h/give/

God is doing amazing things in and through me here in Romania. I would not be here today without everyone's love and support. Thank you for all that you do! I look forward to continuing to share about my ministry for many years to come.

Prayer Requests/Praises

Praises: I was able to start Anger Management classes at Voluntari. Our Bible teaching programs have gotten back on schedule. Summer planning is already underway and we are already making progress in several areas. Life Skills sessions and Character Classes are continuing to go well and we are continuing to notice progress with several kids. Prayer Requests: Continue to pray for our kids, especially at Periș, as they are beginning to become more open and willing to share their stories with us. We are seeing lots of really positive changes taking place and pray that the kids, and we as well, will be protected from Satan's attacks. Pray that the kids will continue to seek Christ and that we will be able to provide them with constancy, stability, and a feeling of safety. Pray for times when we as staff can get rest and refueling and that we will stay in a healthy mindset. Pray for summer ministry and that doors will open (or close) as needed to provide our kids with opportunities to meet with God and grow their relationship with Him. Pray that I will continue to make connections with other mental health professionals here in Romania.

When God Lets You Know It's Going to be Ok

Being a missionary in a foreign field can be challenging. We all have days that make us want to throw up our hands and scream but adding in cultural differences, language barriers, and physical separation from family and loved ones can make the struggle very real very quick.

Yesterday was one of those days that was a challenge for me. Let me explain that one thing I am praying for this year is to be reminded that each of these kids is dealing with demons. And some of those demons are very large and very scary. By praying that I will remember what these kids are dealing with I am also praying that I will have patience when dealing with them. I find myself sometimes getting frustrated with the kids when they act out because I so quickly forget that they are dealing with massive amounts of trauma and hurt. Well, you know that you should never pray for patience, right? Because to get more patience you have to have your patience tested. Yesterday there were a lot of things testing my patience, the lovely children I work with being one of those things. As it turns out, yesterday was a real struggle for my co-workers too so we packed it up and headed out much earlier than any of us had anticipated.

The whole way home I was thinking to myself and praying. I was thankful that I had not gone completely nut-so on the kids (I only raised my voice once and it was more of a loud talking voice than a yell). But I was also frustrated by so many other things. And I wasn't sure if I was handling any of it right. I prayed that God would take away my feelings of frustration. I was eventually able to simmer down after I arrived home and engaged myself with some non-work related items.

Fast forward to today.

I'm unpacking my therapy bags from yesterday to repack them for the classes that I had to lead today when I came across this:

It was a drawing from one of the girls at the orphanage. I remembered her giving it to me and saying a quick thank you but not really looking at it. In the heart it reads "I love you" and "I love you lots" and at the bottom it says "I love you, Melissa." The girl who gave this to me is one of our hard kids. She curses like a sailor and sneers more often than she smiles. But somewhere in the last six months she has decided that we (meaning my co-workers and I) are ok. I especially feel a special connection to her. Maybe because I like the tough kids. They're usually some of the sweetest kids if you can manage to break through the tough exterior.

Seeing this simple message made me stop in my tracks. It was as if God had reached out to me in that moment and said, "It's going to be ok." And I realized it is. Tomorrow may suck, the day after it my be rough too, but one day things will be a little less sucky and a little less rough. The kids are never going to all act like little angels (I'd actually be afraid they were on drugs if that happened) and there will still be challenges that are bigger than us that we won't be able to overcome without some serious inside help. But things are changing. The kids are getting better. Maybe in tiny increments that are nearly impossible to see. But they are. And even when they misbehave and lash out at us because they have hurts they can't handle they know that we love them and that we can be the stability they need in their lives.

So, if tomorrow sucks I'll just look at this picture again and think, "It's going to be ok."

P.S. Today was much better and hardly sucked at all.

Starting Ministry

As some of you may know, here at Heart to Heart we have two ministry "seasons." We have summer ministry which runs primarily through the month of July but often includes several weeks in June and August and our school year ministry which runs the rest of the year (September through June when the kids are in school). We concluded with our summer ministry a few months ago and have been preparing to start our school year ministry over the months of August and September. The kids officially started school on September 12th but it usually takes several weeks to get schedules set and classes in order. We were finally able to get enough of a program set that this week we kicked off school year ministry activities.

On Monday we opened the transition houses. We trekked down to Nenculesti with the boys to help them get settled into their new space. For the boys from Peris this is a big change. They are moving far away from any friends and family they may have to a small farming village. While Peris is not a large city the kids are used to having more conveniences and being able to travel about more easily.

There are three boys from the Peris orphanage that will be in the transition program: Nicu Cociu, Nicu Perghel, and Marian Stefan. Marian Stefan came down to the house on Tuesday as he had to finalize some things at his previous job. There are two boys from Rosiuri de Vede: Sorin and his brother Dani, and one boy from the boys orphanage in Alexandria: Cristi. Please pray for them as they learn to live and work together and experience the joy of being part of the Heart to Heart family.

Dani, Nicu C., Isabela, Nicu P., Cristi, and Sorin

After we had lunch and brief meeting in Nenculesti we took Isabela, who is from Rosiuri, up the girls transition apartment in the city. Isa has waited a long time to join our program and we are excited to have her finally become a part of our family!

Tuesday we began our school year ministry in the orphanages. This year I have taken over leading the large group classes at both Peris and Voluntari. Last year these classes were called Character Classes but this year we have changed them to Life Skills groups. The kids will be learning how to behave appropriately, interact socially, and express their emotions in a healthy way. The two classes that we held yesterday at Voluntari went really well. The kids were attentive and excited and contributed in meaningful ways to the class. I pray that they will continue to learn these valuable skills and grow into the person that God has envisioned for them.

Today (Wednesday) I will start meeting with kids one on one for counseling sessions. I am excited as this year I'm incorporating some groups for our teenagers. I pray that all the kids will be receptive to what I have to share with them and that God's love would pour through me into their lives.

Tomorrow (Thursday) I will run two large Life Skills groups at Peris and Friday I may be able to have some one on one sessions at Voluntari.

This year is looking to be a busy one but I am excited to see how God will move in the lives of our kids! Pray for me as I take on more responsibilities this year and that I will feel confident and comfortable in this position.

Bring on 2016!

So, I realize that for the entire month of December I was MIA from my blog. I don't know what to say except that December was this weird vortex of craziness that I may never emerge from...but I mean that in a good way.

My girl Denisa and I.

A lot went down in December...I finished my language lessons, I learned to drive standard, I moved 1.5 times (it's kind of hard to explain...), I helped deliver a lot of Christmas presents, I taught Youth Group in Romanian, I celebrated Christmas...and that's just the quick and dirty summary. I suggest we just start anew with January and I'll try to be a better blogger.

Love to see Daniel in a happy, none-tantrum-throwing mood.

Right now I'm in a really good head space. I love my job. I love Romania. I love the kids. I'm excited about 2016. This will be the year I finally get down to my ideal weight (and stay there), find love, blog more, and learn to enjoy cleaning house (ok, so my goals are a little lofty...maybe really lofty...). Ok, so if none of those things happen I'll still be fine. But seriously, I've felt really good the last few weeks even though I have been insanely busy. Actually insane doesn't begin to cover it but that's the best word I could come up with for the moment (this is what lack a lack of sufficient, quality sleep will do to a person).

Robi looking quite grown up with his Christmas presents.

Right now we are in the midst of hosting our Holiday Team. We've done some orphanage visits, handed out some gifts, and today we had a little "spectacol" ("show") where the kids danced and did skits. I was in my happy place this afternoon riding in the back of the van with some of the girls from the orphanage piled on top of me, holding my hands, and napping on my shoulder. I've had some awesome moments of just holding kids in my arms lately and there's nothing I love more than just snuggling with a kid.

Marian and I.

I hope that your 2016 started with you being in a good head space too. I'm praying that it continues and that this new year holds more kid snuggles and full hearts. And maybe a little more sleep.

Overwhelmed

Today was another day of camps with the kids. It started out pretty much like any other day with Bible stories, snacks, games, and singing. And then, as we usually do, we let the kids go swimming in the pool. As I was floating around on a pool noodle in the "apa mare" (deep end), I took a minute to look around. As I did I had an overwhelming sense of joy in my heart and I realized: I really love these kids.

I don't have a "special connection" with all of them. Some of them can't remember my name, have never met me, and/or call me by the wrong name on a fairly consistent basis. But I still love them.

I love them for being them. I love them for their smiles. I love them for their courage. I love them for using me as a floatation device (thus nearly drowning both of us in the process).

I love when they leap into our arms with confidence. I love when they light things on fire. I love when they kiss our cheeks. I love when they pinch our arms until they bruise. I love them when they are being good. I love them when they are being bad. I love them.

I love that I get the opportunity to work with these kids. To be a part of their lives. To be the parent that they need...even if just for a few minutes in the pool on a hot summer afternoon.

A Reminder of Joy

Today I was reminded by God that, in the midst of the roller coaster of life, there are moments of shining joy.

Tonight I got to see the daughter of some long time family friends get married. As I watched the happy couple standing in front of my childhood pastor (another long time family friend) I had the striking thought that no matter where you are or what culture you are in or what is going on in the world, there are always weddings. There are always births. There are always celebrations. Even in the darkest of times God provides us with a shining ray of joy. A time for us to enjoy and be merry.

I think God provides these moments to remind us of His goodness. To remind us that He has not left us. That He wants us to enjoy life. That He doesn't want us to always be burdened to suffer or to lose hope.

These are the moments that we should revel in. We should taste and see that the Lord is good. Remember that He still cares for us. That He has not forgotten us. That there is good in this world and it was put there for us to enjoy.

I was glad I got that chance tonight.