A Quick and Random Update

As promised here is a quick update:

1. My 31st birthday came and went without much note. I had just gotten back from Romania the week before and was still trying to adjust. Plus, my birthday fell on a Wednesday so there wasn't really any way to go out and do something in the middle of the week. I didn't plan a big outing like I did last year when I went on a wine tasting tour. We'll probably go out to dinner some time but nothing big.

Birthday balloons from my sister in law and my birthday sign at work.

2. My transition back to the real world went ok. I didn't come back to the huge storm of work that I was afraid of but it still hasn't been easy. My work is very high stress and with no one else in my department there is no way to delegate tasks. Unfortunately, that means that most days I just want to be left alone. My mind is still thousands of miles away and I wish I could be there at camp or at the beach with the kids in Romania.

3. Because I've been so dead tired all the time, my doctor ordered me to take have a sleep study to make sure I don't have sleep apnea. They now do these in home so last week I got a kit mailed to me.

My in home monitoring kit.

It's not as complicated as it looks, thankfully. I did the two night test and I should be getting my results soon.

4. Last weekend I went paddle boarding for my best friend Megan's birthday. Her birthday was at the beginning of May but we hadn't been able to do anything big (it's her 30th so you know we had to do it up. Afterwards, we went to Treehouse for lunch and then to Ri Ra to hear The Geeks play (they're an 80's and 90's cover band). I wish there were pictures of us paddle boarding because it was really enjoyable but, alas, this one from the internet will have to suffice.

This kind of looks like us...ok, it doesn't at all look like me and Megan.

5. Yesterday I ran the Peachtree Road Race. Megan ran too and she pushed me to keep running even when I thought I was going to die so we made good time but today I'm sore. I'm not upset that she pushed me...just that I feel so old sometimes. Today I'm off to "rest" by painting trim at my brother's house.

That's everything for now! I'll try not to let too much more time pass in between posts.

Where Did The Time Go?!?

Can you believe it is July already? This year is half over! It seems like just yesterday I was stepping off the plane with my mom from our holiday trip to Romania and 2014 had just begun. I'm really beginning to think time speeds up the older you get.

Anyhow...I have some things to update you on like my birthday and paddleboarding and medical tests and how that whole "Transition Back to the 'Real World'" went...but for now I need to get some sleep... I have to clean my portion of the house tomorrow before work and I want to be rested. We're running the Peachtree Road Race on Friday and my uncle and sister-in-law will be here on Thursday. I need to make sure my "domain" is prepared.

Until then: Welcome to July!

Here is a picture of my cat sleeping for you to enjoy...because I don't have any July themed pictures and well, my cat is awesome and doesn't really need any other reason to have her picture on the blog.

The Little Engine that Couldn't

I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can go back to work tomorrow. In the past I've usually come back from Romania and gone straight to work the very next day. I didn't have to time to think about anything, just jump right back in. It was exhausting but in some ways I think it's better. This time I had the whole weekend to "adjust." But really all I've done is sit around and think about the storm that is waiting me when I walk tomorrow:

- The only other co-worker I had in my department gave her two weeks notice the day before I left. Her last day was Friday. Once again I will find myself alone managing all the new intakes, all the insurance reauthorizations, and my own caseload of clients. It's a place I have been to several times over the past year but not a place that I willingly return to. It is a very tough place to be and I dread the next few months as stress and demands wear away at me. I pray that this time it will be different but I was recently given more authority over my department which essentially equals more administrative duties. Good thing (?) I only have to answer to myself...

- I update all the new authorizations in a huge database. Not sure this got done while I was gone. Which means two weeks of authorizations to add and manage.

- We recently implemented a plan to do 6 month reauthorizations on all clients. This increases my workload two fold as the kids are now coming in twice as frequently.

- I have to schedule times to see all my clients. Thankfully I only have 4 right now but I still have to manage to fit them into my schedule.

- I have a meeting with an insurance company rep at 11:00 on Monday morning. Hoo-rah (please note sarcasim).

I know I should be more positive. I really do enjoy my job. And I love my co-workers. And my birthday is this week (wait...is that a positive or a negative...). I know that God will give me strength and all that other Christianese we spout that is supposed to make me feel better (thanks for the cliches but not today). I know I will get over it...eventually. But right now I'm not looking forward to smiling and saying, "Glad to be back!" (lies...kind of...it's complicated...) and dealing with "issues" that people think are important but really and truly are not.

Right now my heart is too busy breaking.

I Think They Know in Their Hearts

I'm always amazed each time I go to Romania which kids end up being drawn to me and me to them. Sometimes I end up spending time with kids I have known for a long time but who drift in and out of their interest in being with me. Sometimes I spend time with kids I hardly know at all. And, of course, there are some kids I always spend time with.

Of all the places we visit I'm always most interested to see how my time at Voluntari will go. The orphanage is full of younger kids so they are less likely to remember me from visit to visit. This time I ended up being with one little boy, Alberto, quite a bit, especially during our second week.

I actually knew Alberto from the time he first arrived at the orphanage. I distinctly remember him because he was one of the only kids there who was still in diapers. He was such a little cutie with his big eyes and chubby little cheeks!

Making crafts (Summer 2012)

At the pool party (Summer 2012)

Swinging (Summer 2012)

Alberto was around the other times that I went (though I seem to lack much photographic evidence of such) and I'm sure that I spent a little time with him here and there but, overall, we haven't had a whole lot of interactions. Little Alberto got integrated into the 30 plus "grădiniță" (preschool and kindergarten aged kids) at Voluntari.

Getting Christmas presents (Winter 2012/2013)

Sitting with Ms. Cherri (Winter 2013/2014)

Front and center (in the blue stripes) to show off his snowflake craft (Winter 2013/2014)

I hate to say that Alberto got lost in the crowd but as a very quiet and very well behaved (relative to all his peers of course) little boy he sometimes got overlooked for the kids who were running in circles, climbing on the tables, and yelling at the top of their lungs. But this time around, he picked me.

I spent one day playing a little on the playground with him (I think I took an interest in his trucks or something like that) and from then on he would find me. He'd stick out his little hand and I'd take it and we'd be on our way.

At outdoor worship time the day we decided to be best buds.

I can't explain why some kids decide after all the years, after all the visits, after all the time why they are ready to let you into their little world.

The Day of 100 Selfies (literally...he took over 120 pictures sitting on my lap one afternoon).

I don't know if Alberto really remembered me from all the visits before. I don't know if any of the little kids do. But I do believe that God helps them remember in their hearts if not in their heads.

Processing

For the last 2 weeks I have been in Romania (as you might remember me mentioning). I had initially gone with every intention of blogging while I was there. But I really couldn't put to words what I was feeling. Now that I'm home, the real processing will start. Over the next few weeks I'm going to try and share what was on my heart and my mind while I was away. The stories will likely not go in the order that they occurred but I don't think that will matter in the long run. I will also post some of these stories on the Walking With Orphans page as well (which you should check out...I've started a new campaign for future trips and you can buy a shirt to help support me...there's even a video, with music!). I hope that you will enjoy hearing about my time in Romania and my heart for those kiddos.

Almost Time

I've got some butterflies in my stomach. The reality is finally setting in...I'm going to be in Romania in a little over a week! It feels like I just left but I can't wait to be back. In the meantime I have so much to do...buy supplies, pack, get my car serviced, pack, wash clothes, pack, find my cameras and batteries, pack...did I mention that I need to pack? I'm going to have a lot of stuff to take between the goodies my mom bought for the kids, the ministry supplies I'm taking, and, oh yeah, my clothes. I can't wait though. Even if all I end up taking is a t-shirt and pair of shorts to get me through two weeks I'll be happy.

Be praying for me as I prep everything at work and home for my departure and attempt to buy $50 worth of over the counter pain meds and $100 worth of fabric markers...it's a strange, weird life I lead, I know. Pray also for our team and that we will get along. I'm going with a group from Reno, Nevada who I have worked with before. I'm the only "outsider" and, while I'm pretty sure we'll all get along fine, just pray that we all bond well. And, most importantly, pray for the kids. I really want to see my boys and spend more than a day with them (like I did post-Christmas). I also want to just continue to connect with these kids so that they will see God's love for them through me. Oh, and I do have an unspoken prayer request for myself. If you could lift it up to God for me I would appreciate it...He knows what it's about...

Ok, so...9 days left...maybe I should find my suitcase...

Self Imposed Time Off

Recently I took a nice, planned, vacation with my parents and a nice, not so planned, break from the blog. I need to make time away from all my obligations and activities so that I don't start to feel overwhelmed by everything. Work had gotten to the point where I was very grouchy and frustrated at the slightest thing so I knew it was time for a little getaway.

Mom, Dad, my Aunt Becky, and I went to Amelia Island for a long weekend. Becky and I drove down on Friday afternoon and came back on Monday afternoon. I didn't take too much time off because I will be leaving for Romania on June 7th and I will need some of that vacation/personal time for then.

The weather at the beach was perfect. Not too hot, a great breeze, and not a cloud in the sky. I spent two days just lounging on the beach, getting sunburned, and reading magazines. It was great.

Dad and I ventured in to the little town of Fernandina Beach on Monday before we left to drive back home and did a little window shopping.

Of course I also made time for some knitting and nearly finished up a pair of socks.

It seems I didn't take a single picture while I was on vacation. The only one I have is one my aunt took the first night we were there.

View from our balcony.

Oh, and this one of a lizard on the hood of our car.

You have to look closely but he's there.

All in all it was a very much needed break. It has been back to work for the last week but I'm already ready for another long weekend (Memorial Day) this weekend.