Not Homemaker Material

I have a confession to make...I'm not a good homemaker. I can't really cook, I hate to clean, and I'm not especially handy. My organizational system is piles of things all over. I know what's in each pile, I just can never seem to get to together enough to get things in filing cabinets, get the junk mail thrown out, and let go of that business card for the place I might want to visit if I had the time and money. It's nowhere near Hoarder's level but I'm definitely not a clean freak.

But all that may be about to change. I have discovered the joy of homemade, natural cleaning products. A few years ago I bemoaned the fact that typical cleaners are so bad (see this blog post, #5). I did buy some organic cleaners but I didn't really like them all that much (they smelled kind of weird) and then I moved and my parents use all kinds of skin burning stuff and it was just easier to do it their way then spend a bunch of money on organic cleaners. And I'm lazy and this stuff was already here. But then I got into essential oils. And I downloaded a little book on how to use essential oils for all kinds of things. Which is why today I made some all purpose cleaner.

And I got a little excited about cleaning. And then I used it. And I got a lot excited about cleaning. Like, I can't wait to clean again excited. I know, I know...it scared me too a little.

This stuff is seriously great. I used it on the mirror, the sink, the tub, and the toilet and it made everything *shine*. And it smells great. And, on top of all that, there is nothing harsh about any of the ingredients. I could literally clean my body with this stuff and it would be ok. I don't have to worry about my skin melting if I touch it. I don't have to worry about my insides burning if it accidentally gets on my toothbrush. I don't pass out from the inhalation of chemicals. I don't even need special rags to clean up. I can use my regular washcloths and not be worried about chemical residue the next time I want to wash my face. Amazing.

In case you want to make your own here is the recipe I used:

2 1/2 cups of hot water
1/4 cup distilled white vingear
1/4 of castille soap (I used Dr. Bronner's with the tea tree oil since the recipe I was working off of called for tea tree essential oil (which I don't have))
5 drops of lavender essential oil
5 drops of lemon essential oil

Put in a spray bottle and store. Shake before use. Spray surface then wipe down with a damp cloth.

The original recipe (and a bunch of other great recipes of using essential oils) came from Best Essential Oils and Aromatherapy Guide.

June is Busy

It was a little weird waking up today and not having to head off to work. Last week it made sense because I was on vacation. But today there was no vacation and there was also no work. But June is shaping up to be busy anyway:

• May 29th was my last day of work at the Academy for Family Empowerment (mental health counseling).
• May 30th was the start of vacation.
• June 6th was the end of vacation.
• Yesterday and today were spent packing because...
• Tomorrow (June 9th) I leave for a few days of training with Heart to Heart (missions agency) in San Diego.

Normally I'm a little leery of plane travel. I just prefer to keep my feet on the ground (ironic as I usually travel internationally twice a year). However, this time I'm actually excited. Maybe because I know this is one step closer to Romania!

I will be back there soon!

Every time I think about the fact that I am moving to the other side of the world I experience a multitude of emotions. I'm excited to be going because I love these kids so much and I can't wait to work with them daily. I'm excited to be moving to a country that I love and a people that I feel at home with. I'm overwhelmed just thinking about packing up my life. I'm overwhelmed at all that has to be done before I can leave. I'm sad to be leaving my family and friends. I worry about how much my nephew will change while I'm gone and if he will remember me at all. I'm anxious about making all my connecting flights. I'm eager and ready to find out what each day will look like. I pray that I will be able to learn a new language quickly and that, one day hopefully soon, it will come naturally to me. I'm thankful to say that out of all these emotions, excitement and readiness are the pervading ones. While I am nervous and anxious about parts of the journey I know that this is exactly what I need to be doing.

Is it weird that I am looking forward to the heat of the Romanian summer? Probably...

If you are interested I have some pictures of vacation up on my Facebook page (though there are still more to be added). I will probably be adding some pictures from training as well. I'll try and keep everyone updated between now and when I leave for Romania on the 28th!

Counting My Blessings: Week 1

So, as I have mentioned before, I'm something of a worrywart. I can, and frequently do, get worked up over the smallest of things. This has been going on for a good many years now and I'm actually starting to suffer physically because of it. I'm determined to take control of this though. I've started sleeping better and I have boundaries around my free time now. Before I freak out about something I try and approach it logically and I try to remind myself to stop and pray.

This weekend I was having a somewhat trying time with my anxiety. I knew it was because the week before I had been really slack with my quiet time and journaling (and, by default, my prayer time). On Sunday I decided I wanted to do something to remind myself that life isn't all about worry and stress. Our pastor was preaching from James and there were two verses I found that stuck out to me:

"...Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you..." - James 4:7b-8a

There are two things I must do: resist the devil and come near to God. I have to actively push away from the devil and then purposefully move towards God. If I get slack then I'm no longer getting closer to God (I might even be getting further away) and I'm susceptible to the devil's tricks. For me that means my anxiety will get worse. Satan has wormed his way into my thinking over years of unguarded and unbridled disobedience and if I give him an inch of room he will turn it into a full blown panic attack.

So, what I have I decided to do? I'm going to count my blessings. Each week I'm going to think of 10 things that I was blessed with during the week and I'm going to share them here. Hopefully I will end up making this a daily habit and then share the 10 best with you at the end of the week.

Last week's is a little late but I want to get this kicked off. Without further ado, here are 10 things I was blessed with last week:

1. Meeting a new friend who loves Jesus, orphans, and Eastern Europe as much as I do!
2. The promise of spring that was in the air on Sunday afternoon.
3. The fact that all of my friends and family stayed safe during the ice storm last week.
4. Getting better at my Romania and starting to feel like I may actually learn this!
5. Watching the Olympics with my mom.
6. A rainstorm (I love the sound of rain!).
7. Walking our dog after being stuck inside for most of the week.
8. Learning that my Romanian friend Elena is coming to the States in March to start college!
9. Learning that 2 of my friends from the boys transition program in Romania made public professions of faith on Sunday!
10. Knitting a sweater for a child in need with yarn that I dyed myself.

Yes, I'm definitely blessed!

Worrywart: Hypochondriac Edition

I am a bona fide worrywart. My incessant anxiety issues will probably come up multiple times on this blog in various forms. I can find anything to worry about and often do. There is almost always something I can find to work myself up about. This weekend, for example, I had a brief episode of hypochondria.

My Myers-Brigg's personality is an INTJ. I thrive on logic and order and I value intelligence. However, because I can get stuck in my own head and I like to come to a conclusion before fully fleshing ideas out, sometimes I come up with the "worst case scenario" and assume that to be the truth. At various points in my life I have been afraid that I had botulism, a brain tumor, AIDS, and various forms of cancer (never mind the very obvious reasons why I would have none of these issues). Take, for example, this classic freakout about the brain tumor...

Me: I'm totally freaking out!
Best Friend: Why?
M: I think I might have a brain tumor.
BF: Why would you think that?
M: I've been having these weird migraine-type headaches for the last few weeks.
BF: You don't have a brain tumor.
M: I might!
BF: You don't have a brain tumor.
M: I could!
BF: You don't.
M: Well, I'm going to the doctor and I'm going to ask them and what if they tell me that I have a brain tumor?!?
BF: They're not going to tell you that you have a brain tumor because you don't have one. You are more likely to have a tumor on your ass.
M: Yeah!!! Well, what if I go to the doctor and they tell me that I have a brain tumor on my ass?!?! What then?!?!

Just a sampling of my ridiculous thinking.

Needless to say, WebMD has become a frienemy of mine. It offers hope in one paragraph ("Migraines can be a sign of the following: stress, lack of sleep, looking at the sun too long..." Excellent! I'll just take a nap everyday!) and life destroying damnation in the next ("...cancer, leprosy, and brain eating bacteria." Great, I'm pretty much dead.)

It also really helps that my mother, aunt, and grandmother enjoy watching true crime and hospital horror shows. They have a weird, soul crushing story for everything. Cut your finger? They saw a story about someone who lost the entire right side of their body after an infection seeped in through a paper cut. Feeling dizzy? They watched a program about an entire school of children who contracted a rare disease that caused them to feel dizzy and then suddenly drop dead two days later. If you are looking for comfort from them you are likely not to find it. The icing on the cake is mentioning an ailment to them and ending up in a 2 hour conversation about all the horrible and bizarre things they have heard about people who had the exact same thing that you did. Oh, and P.S. they all ended up dead. But you're likely to pull through! :::pat on the back:::

This weekend I was pretty sure I had contracted some awful disease. I won't even tell you my symptoms or what I thought was going on because, thinking about it in hindsight, I can see how it was all simply crazy-pants. I'm not saying that there isn't cause for concern when things do go wrong. But let's face the facts: I've had good check ups from my doctor for the last several years. I eat relatively healthy and work out 4-5 times a week. I take supplements and vitamins. This doesn't make me invincible by any means but I have managed to escape several rounds of respiratory issues and stomach viruses this winter.

So, no. I'm pretty sure I don't have pneumonia of the pinky toe. But since I've just proclaimed my current, healthy state of existence I'm pretty certain that next week I will come down with the flu.

Realization

So, if you don't remember from my last post I have had a growing sense of stress (manifesting as lack of motivation) for the past few months that seems to be reaching a head. Today at work I had an especially tough day. It started with some discouraging news and continued with getting corrections and a small lecture before ending with a frustrating reauthorization session. I was nearly in tears as I left the office and started home. Once I was home I verbally vomited on my mom and tried to make some order out of the jumbled chaos that was my brain. And, then my mom surprised me. She talked me through some stuff and even brought up something I had never considered. Then, in a moment of clarity, it was as if God was looking at me and saying, "Melissa...I got this. You're worrying about the wrong thing." And I was. I can't get into the specific details but I was worried about the wrong thing. This has happened before but once again I let the stress of life pull me away from the one who I really needed to be listening to. My quiet time has tanked since Christmas and the only time I pray is when someone else is doing it or in the 5 minutes before I fall asleep in bed each night. It took my mom reminding me that God is still at work, even while I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. He will work around the circumstances I create. In fact, He is working in such a way that there is literally no way I cannot be in His will. Amazing. Those of you further advanced in your spiritual walks are shaking your heads at me. Don't worry. I'm finally catching on.

Springtime in Romania

April 2019 Update

Hanging out with the kids at Săftica.

Springtime has arrived here in Romania and we have been busy with the kids! At the beginning of April we had a team here from North Carolina and a team from Michigan. We really enjoyed having them come and help with activities with the kids.

During the process of cleaning at Nenciulești.

One of the big projects that we worked on while the teams were here was cleaning out some of the storage areas at the Boys Transition House in Nenciulești. We will be turning these spaces into two dormitories and a meeting space for our summer camps. It was a lot of work getting out all the old furniture and tools but we were able to clear out the space in just two days! Our next step is making repairs and painting.

Regular Programming

Our daily programs with the kids have been going well. At Săftica and Casa Lidia we have been working on developing important social skills such as listening and following directions. We also did some Easter activities using emotions.

Learning how to be good listeners! (The ears say, "I can listen!")

Coloring Easter eggs based on how we are feeling. Each color represented a different feeling.

In Youth Group and Bible Class have been working our way through the entire Bible using the Through The Bible in 12 Weeks curriculum. The kids have learned about the four relationships that God created us to have (with God, with ourselves, with others, and with creation) and how sin has impacted these relationships. We have also learned about the prophets and how Jesus is the ultimate sacrifice that can repair all our relationships for good. We will be talking more with the kids over the coming weeks about what it means to live a Christ centered life and how we should live in expectation of His return.

Youth Group and Bible Class activities.

I continue to do Character Classes, therapy groups, and individual therapy sessions. Heather and I also co-teach a music therapy class. It is always such a blessing to see how the kids are growing!

Petruța showing off some of the miniatures that we use during sessions.

Dancing out our emotions while listening to music in music therapy class.

Special Events

This month Heather and I had the opportunity to do some fun outings with the kids. We took Iuli, who has been "my kid" for almost 8 years now, out for his 19th (!!!) birthday. We saw a movie, went to dinner, and bought him some new sneakers. I'm so proud of the man that he is becoming!

We had to try out the vibrating massage chairs. I mean, you only turn 19 once!

Heather and I were also able to help with the school at Periș by providing transport to the Natural History Museum and to the zoo. We went to the park one day for lunch and then treated the kids to McDonald's the other day that we were out. It was nice to be able to not have to plan or worry about the schedule for the day but simply spend time with the kids.

Giving and Support Information

As always, I want to say a huge note of thanks to everyone who supports me financially. Whether it is $5 or $500 your donation makes a big difference to my ministry. Some of my current financial needs are for summer ministry supplies, household repairs, and incidentals for the kids (shampoo, face wash, feminine hygiene products, etc.). If you would like to donate financially through Heart to Heart simply click the link below. You can designate the gift to come to me, one of the other missionaries, or simply to the general fund.

Giving Through H2H

Another way that you can give is to purchase something off my Amazon Wishlist. I have a list for personal items and a list for ministry related items. You can send items directly to me at: Strada Florilor Nr. 124A Snagov, Ilfov Romania 077165

Personal Wishlist

Ministry Supplies Wishlist

Prayer Requests and Praises

Praises: One of our boys at Voluntari who has not been involved for a few weeks has started to regularly attend his therapy sessions, music lessons, and Youth Group. We are planning to take him on a special trip to church with us and to the mall in a few weeks. Pray that he will continue to have an open heart and mind to all we have to share with him. Over the past few months we have heard rumors of more of our kids leaving the large orphanages and going to smaller foundations throughout the city. We were recently able to acquire a list of all the foundations in Bucharest that are taking in kids. Hopefully this will help us to keep in contact with our current kids as they move to new foundations and will also help us to make new contacts and reach more kids. Prayer Requests: Continue to pray for our kids as so many of them are getting moved to other orphanages and foundations. These changes often happen unexpectedly and our kids have little time to prepare, both those who are leaving and those who remain behind. Pray that we will continue to be able to make connections with organizations and to be able to come in and work with the kids. Pray that our kids would find stability in Christ through all of this turmoil and upheaval. And pray that we as a staff will be prepared emotionally for these changes. Pray for Nicu C. at the Periș orphanage. He was recently moved to a "re-education" facility after an incident last year where some boys were abused at the orphanage. Pray that he will not lose faith in God throughout this process. Continue to pray that we will have the resources (both financial and physical) to help us accomplish all we would like to do for summer. I recently completed training to be able to teach the Trauma Competent Caregivers course. Pray that opportunities would open up for me to use this training to train others. For staff relationships as we go into summer. Pray that we will be able to work together and have an enjoyable summer with the kids. For health and safety for myself and my family.