Wednesday, January 22, 2014
So, if you don't remember from my last post I have had a growing sense of stress (manifesting as lack of motivation) for the past few months that seems to be reaching a head. Today at work I had an especially tough day. It started with some discouraging news and continued with getting corrections and a small lecture before ending with a frustrating reauthorization session. I was nearly in tears as I left the office and started home. Once I was home I verbally vomited on my mom and tried to make some order out of the jumbled chaos that was my brain. And, then my mom surprised me. She talked me through some stuff and even brought up something I had never considered. Then, in a moment of clarity, it was as if God was looking at me and saying, "Melissa...I got this. You're worrying about the wrong thing." And I was. I can't get into the specific details but I was worried about the wrong thing. This has happened before but once again I let the stress of life pull me away from the one who I really needed to be listening to. My quiet time has tanked since Christmas and the only time I pray is when someone else is doing it or in the 5 minutes before I fall asleep in bed each night. It took my mom reminding me that God is still at work, even while I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. He will work around the circumstances I create. In fact, He is working in such a way that there is literally no way I cannot be in His will. Amazing. Those of you further advanced in your spiritual walks are shaking your heads at me. Don't worry. I'm finally catching on.