Saturday, February 7, 2015

I'm Not Perfect

Sometimes I think that I've got the following Jesus thing down pretty well. But the reality is, I'm painfully not perfect. Far from it. For every one thing that I have going for me in the "Example of Christ" category I have at least three things in the "Needs Improvement" category.

Recently, I began to regularly pray that God would convict me of anything standing in the way of our relationship so I could repent thus allowing God to restore the relationship.

Be careful what you pray for.

Last night I had a coming to Jesus moment where He shone a spotlight on a sin that I needed to repent of. Now, sometimes God corrects with a gentle word. Other times a fire. I feel I'm pretty thick so usually the fire method gets through to me quickest. And last night there were sparks. All I could do was pray, "Oh God, please..." and let Jesus fill in the rest because I was so scared in that moment all I could do was call on the Creator of the Universe and hope He would understand my plight.

And He did. I sat there in that moment thinking of how I could have just derailed my future, the future God had set up for me. But He didn't let that happen. He got my attention and then had mercy on me. I took me all of 30 seconds to repent and decide that I was never going to put myself in that position again. I realized that the earthly pleasure, it just wasn't worth it, not at all.

Now, sin comes with a price. While I was spared the huge brunt of what could have been (and maybe should have been) an epic smack down, I still have to accept some repercussions. That meant that last night I did not get much sleep...tossing and turning, couldn't get comfortable, too hot then too cold...but it was a reminder of the promise that I had made, that I was turning from my sin. When I woke up or rather, got out of bed (since I was pretty much already awake) this morning I knew that God would have a word for me. The first thing that popped up when I opened my Bible app was:

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies..." 2 Corinthians 1:3 (emphasis added)

Yes, yes He is the Father of mercies.

Then I hopped on Twitter and saw this:

Yep, spot on.

So, in summary: I'm not perfect. Not one bit. I still have a lot that I need to get right in my life. And God is working on me. And I'm so thankful that He does so as my loving Father. And I'm so glad He didn't give me an epic smack down.