Happy Birthday to Me!

I wrote this yesterday morning (June 25th) but didn't get the chance to post it until today. Apologies...

Today is my birthday and I'm turning 32. When I turned 30 I had a feeling this was going to be the best decade of my life. So far it seems to be headed in that direction.

Professionally, I feel like I have finally found my calling. I love mental health therapy. I love working with the most troubled kiddos. For almost two and half years I worked at a job that I really enjoyed, even though there were times it got pretty tough. In less than a week I will be following my calling even further to Romania where I will be in the trenches with orphaned and abandoned kids almost every single day and I can't wait.

Spiritually, I feel like I'm tracking pretty well with God (though we can always do better, right?). I have setbacks but I have really seen God do some awesome things in my life. I feel peace and joy in my spirit that weren't there five or six years ago. I am more grateful than I ever have been for God's saving grace. I'm still learning lessons but I feel like I get the lesson quicker and I experience restoration in my relationship with God immediately, a feeling that I struggled to find, sometimes for months or years, in the past. These are things that I have wrestled with over the years and I feel like, maybe, I'm finally starting to get the picture.

I have had the joy of spending the last 3 years building closer relationships with my family members. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents. I've gotten to spend more time with my grandparents than in many years past. I have an awesome nephew who inspires me to be a better person. I have amazing kids who continue to grow and change in ways that five years ago I never thought possible.

My sweet nephew hanging out with me on my bed.

My Iuli, who is awesome.

My Ionut, who is also awesome.

My girls, Catalina and Albina...also awesome.

My George...you guessed it, another awesome kid!

My Mirela, truly an awesome girl.

As I look ahead to the next year I'm filled with excitement. I'm so thankful to my family and friends for letting me go be a mom to my kids on a daily basis for awhile. I'm grateful to God for the huge blessings He has given me over the last year. I'm ready to tackle the next challenge and see where life takes me. Yesterday, I moved 20 huge boxes of donations for my nonprofit from one storage unit to another all by myself. Then I went to an indoor trampoline center and bounced with my little cousins for two hours. At the end of the day I felt strong, not old (well, until this morning when I woke up with shoulder and neck pain, then I felt a little bit old). I want to always be able to play soccer when my kids ask me to. I want to be able to go swimming in the summer for hours at a time. I want to run and jump and kiss and hug and flip and climb trees if that's what's needed to show my kids and my nephew that I love them.

This is everything I moved by myself.

Playing soccer last year with my kids.

So, happy birthday to me! Here's to another beautiful year full of new and exciting experiences, growth, and love.

June is Busy

It was a little weird waking up today and not having to head off to work. Last week it made sense because I was on vacation. But today there was no vacation and there was also no work. But June is shaping up to be busy anyway:

• May 29th was my last day of work at the Academy for Family Empowerment (mental health counseling).
• May 30th was the start of vacation.
• June 6th was the end of vacation.
• Yesterday and today were spent packing because...
• Tomorrow (June 9th) I leave for a few days of training with Heart to Heart (missions agency) in San Diego.

Normally I'm a little leery of plane travel. I just prefer to keep my feet on the ground (ironic as I usually travel internationally twice a year). However, this time I'm actually excited. Maybe because I know this is one step closer to Romania!

I will be back there soon!

Every time I think about the fact that I am moving to the other side of the world I experience a multitude of emotions. I'm excited to be going because I love these kids so much and I can't wait to work with them daily. I'm excited to be moving to a country that I love and a people that I feel at home with. I'm overwhelmed just thinking about packing up my life. I'm overwhelmed at all that has to be done before I can leave. I'm sad to be leaving my family and friends. I worry about how much my nephew will change while I'm gone and if he will remember me at all. I'm anxious about making all my connecting flights. I'm eager and ready to find out what each day will look like. I pray that I will be able to learn a new language quickly and that, one day hopefully soon, it will come naturally to me. I'm thankful to say that out of all these emotions, excitement and readiness are the pervading ones. While I am nervous and anxious about parts of the journey I know that this is exactly what I need to be doing.

Is it weird that I am looking forward to the heat of the Romanian summer? Probably...

If you are interested I have some pictures of vacation up on my Facebook page (though there are still more to be added). I will probably be adding some pictures from training as well. I'll try and keep everyone updated between now and when I leave for Romania on the 28th!

Paleo-ish

About three weeks back I made the decision to start following the Paleo Diet. In a (very quick) nutshell Paleo is high protein, low carb eating. Some of the biggest "no-no"s are grains and processed sugars. I decided to switch to Paleo because for the last few years I've had a plethora of health issues that seem to be linked to an auto-immune disorder. First, I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) which basically means that my stomach was generally a wreck for no real reason except that I was probably under a lot of stress. Then, I had Hashimoto's disease or hypothyroidism which is caused when the body attacks the thyroid and it's not able to function properly. Next, I developed hypersomnia which is pretty much just being tired all the dang time and, finally, my doctor decided that I also have low to moderate fibromyalgia (chronic pain and joint inflammation). Over the past year my doctor has told me several times that it seems like my issues are caused by my body basically turning on itself (i.e. an auto-immune disorder). This makes sense as I can look back over the last 15 years and see how my anxiety and stress issues have been building to the point where my body has started to break down (I cannot tell you how many times I've had tendonitis, stomach issues, and sleep problems). This chart pretty much explains what (I think) happened over the years:

I had already cut out lactose because I had discovered that this caused huge stomach issues for me. After the last pronouncement that I was still having issues due to an auto-immune disorder, I began to research ways to naturally treat auto-immune issues. Well, the Paleo diet was it. There is an auto-immune protocol (AIP) Paleo Diet that you can follow but it is super restrictive. The Paleo plan that I follow is "Paleo-ish"; I still drink a cup of sugary instant coffee in the morning and I have grains about once a day. I live with my parents who follow the standard American diet and I don't want to inconvenience them so I make it work around what we normally buy from week to week. Veggie chips (especially sweet potato chips) and salsa have become my go to snack. Larabars are also lifesavers. I don't think I'll ever be 100% Paleo but I shot for at least 75% each day. There are certain foods I may never be able to fully give up (pizza and ice cream are two big ones) and when I go out to eat or hang out with friends I don't want to feel like I'm "that guy" who makes a big deal out of food. This blog post by Paleo Mama is an excellent explanation of why I'm not 100% Paleo.

It's been almost around three weeks and I'm seeing some definite improvements. I'll be sure to update you on my progress as I go!

Why is God so Good?

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. - 1 Peter 5:8-10 (NIV)

Why do I have such a hard time believing that God is good? Just this weekend God used someone close to me to teach me that the devil is alive and he will come after those who seek God at the times they are the weakest. He will catch them in a moment when their guard is down. When they think, "I've got this. No big deal," he will try to devour. And God will let him. Because we should always be alert. It's tiring, yes, but God has called us to bigger and better things.

I have asked that God refine me and prepare me for the next step, to go out to the nations and share His love. Just a reminder folks, don't pray for something if you don't mean it. Whenever I try to tell God, "Ok, ok...I get it...I've got it under control." God gently but firmly says, "You need to give this over to me. You need to let it go. We can't move forward when you are still holding onto this earthly thing. I have something bigger for you. But you have to admit you are powerless. Then I will make you strong." What a hard lesson to learn sometimes! And, man, I can be stubborn too!

But, God is good.

The verse above says that "after a little while" God will "restore you." God's timing is always so...unpredictable. Sometimes "a little while" means several years and sometimes it means just a few hours. But I always think, in my humanness, that God will drag out the teaching. He'll drag out my "punishment" if you will. I have a hard time believing the good things I receive after I have just been a sinner in my finest: I wake up reconciled with others but I still walk around on egg shells. Do I not believe that God can restore relationships? I find a message from someone I admire reaching out to connect with little ol' me. Do I not believe that God will open doors for me? Do I not believe that God is good? Do I not believe when He says He will give me "a crown of beauty instead of ashes"? Why do I always think that I deserve eternal punishment when God says, "I'm waiting for you to turn to me so I can bring you blessings"?

Wow...how sad that I do this ALL. THE. TIME. And then, worst of all, I miss out on the blessings because I'm still wallowing in the guilt of my sin.

Y'all, God is good. He loves us so much, even when we totally don't deserve it. He wants to teach us, not to punish us, but to bring us to greater joy, to draw us closer to Him, to pour out blessings. He wants us to turn away from things that look good on the outside but will end up hurting us. The next time I have a setback (and it will happen because I'm just a human being after all) I hope I remember this.

Full Time

When I started blogging again at the end of 2013 I named my blog Missionary Mama because, at that time, I was traveling short term (2-3 weeks at a time) to Romania twice a year. My grandmother gave me the name "missionary mama" because I was a mother to the kids I worked with in the mission field.

I have strong opinions about missions work. I believe that short term trips are good and I believe that long term trips or internships are good and I believe that full time missions is good. In December 2013 I was still under the impression that I was to continue doing short term trips. But that began to change when I stepped off the plane in January 2014.

Mom and I had gone to Romania after Christmas in December 2013. We stayed for about 2 weeks and I had the joy of introducing my mom to the kids, staff, and missions work that I had loved doing for the previous 3 years. After we came back, God laid it on my mom's heart to start talking with me about going back to Romania for a longer period of time. Until then I hadn't had that desire but, as God was prompting my mom to speak with me, He was opening my heart to the possibility of long term missions work.

Over the next several months the calling began to get stronger. I reached out to Jim and Jodi (the American directors of Heart to Heart, the organization I had been going to Romania through) and asked some questions. During the summer of 2014 I went back to Romania. During that time it became clear to me that I needed to make a move. Romania was calling and I needed to answer.

I submitted my application to Heart to Heart in the fall and began the long journey of fundraising. There were lots of tears, lots of doubts, lots of worries, and some moments of frustration but, after just about 6 months, I have finally raised enough money to make the move into full time ministry in Romania.

Why haven't I blogged about this before now? Well, I didn't want to give my notice at my current job until I was 100% ready to leave. And I didn't want to say too much on social media or my blog because I'm friends with some of my co-workers on Facebook. Now that I have given my letter of resignation I feel more at liberty to talk about my transition.

I will still be able to keep in touch with everyone (I may even blog more! Haha!). I have a special Facebook group set up where I can post pictures and talk about my work (let me know if you want to join, the group is "secret" because there are restrictions on the pictures I can post on social media). I still have my email and I also send out a monthly newsletter (click the link to sign up).

Finally, just because I have enough money to leave for Romania doesn't mean that fundraising is done. I have lots of expenses to cover: food, transportation, rent, student loans, ministry supplies... I'm still looking for some monthly giving partners. If you would like to donate even just $5 a month it would greatly help me. Here are the forms to use if you are interested:

• Monthly transfer from your bank account: http://www.h2hint.org/images/pdf/eft.pdf (please note that you will need to write a note on here indicating that your donation should go to my account...just put "Designated for Melissa Brown" at the top of the slip before sending it in)

• Monthly transfer from a credit card: http://www.h2hint.org/images/uploads/ACC%20Charge%20Application%20Form.pdf (be sure to write Melissa Brown on the "Donation is designated for:" line)

If you can only give a one time donation that would greatly help me as well. Having a little extra in my start up funds means I don't have to spend money from my monthly budget for things like furniture and language lessons.

• One time donation: http://www.h2hint.org/index.php/h2h/give/ (be sure to put Melissa Brown in the "Optional Gift Designation" box)

My last day at my current job is May 29th and I leave for Romania on June 28th. I have training in San Diego at the beginning of June and lots of packing to do. As the time for me to transition into a new stage of life approaches I'll be sharing more about what I'll be doing in Romania and what moving half way around the world looks like.

Thanks for sticking it out with me through this amazing and life changing process!

Easter

I know I'm a little late to the game but I thought I'd give y'all a peek into my family's Easter weekend.

It ended up being a family-filled weekend as my uncle was in town for work (he and his family just moved to Corpus Christ, Texas) and my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew were also staying with us. On Sunday we all went to the outdoor service at my parents' church and then had lunch at my parents' house. My grandmother and aunt came over for lunch as well. After lunch we went and visited my grandfather at the nursing home. It ended up being a pretty busy day but it was great to be with my family. As my mom says, "My home and my heart are full!"

The cutest little bunny ever!

My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew after church.

My brother with his little man. So weird to think that my little brother is a dad!

Selfie!

My mom, nephew, grandmother, and brother. Four generations.

My aunt with her great-nephew.

My brother, dad, nephew, and my uncle. Do they look related?

My grandfather and my mom.

Hope you all had a great Easter as well!

Stitch Fix(ed)

Time for my once a month check-in!

About a month ago one of my friends at work was telling me about an online shopping service she had signed up for called, Stitch Fix. I had heard of Stitch Fix and was actually pretty intrigued to see if she liked it. Well, my friend liked her Fix so much that she got another one of our friends to sign up for it. That friend brought her box into the office so that we could see what she got. Seeing the pieces in real life convinced me to sign up for myself. I went online, filled out my profile (including starting a Pinterest account just to pin outfit ideas...), and scheduled a Fix. In a few weeks my box had arrived and I set up a little fashion show for my mom and sister-in-law.

This is the first look and includes 3 of the 5 pieces in the box: cropped pants, a top, and a scarf. I never would have picked the pants for myself ("cropped" doesn't really seem like a good look for short people) but I put them on and I fell in love. They fit like a glove! I guess cropped does work for short people.

Here's another pic of the top and the pants (the color of the top is a little better in this pic). The top was super comfy and I loved the deep blue color. I also loved that it matched the scarf. The neckline was not something I would have thought would have looked good on me but it worked.

I liked the silky material that this geometric top was made out of. The sleeves and shoulder were a little tight but that's probably due to the fact that I'm a little on the muscular side in those areas. I would love to find a tank top that would pull out some of the other colors in this top (it's in shades of purple) to make it pop and to help make it a little more "work friendly."

The ladies at work really liked this top. It was super comfy and is made out of a silky material (printed part) and a jersey material (solid). This top and the geometric top were both right at $35 which is awesome for a boutique top!

In the end I decided to keep all the pieces. If I kept the first look (which I loved) I would have paid as much as if I had just kept the whole box (you get a 25% discount for keeping the whole box) so it just made sense. It's like I got two tops for free! I really like that the pieces can be dressed up or down and are good for work or going out with friends. My mom and sister-in-law were so impressed they both wanted to sign up for their own Fix! If you are the type that is averse to shopping (like me) but are looking for some cute new clothes I would highly suggest checking out Stitch Fix. And, if you use my referral code then I get some love too :)