Love is in the air...

It's so good to be back in Romania! There was lots of love this month...not just because we celebrated Valentine's Day but also because the kids were ready to share their love with me again after being gone on furlough. Sunday mornings continue to be one of my favorite times with the kids and it was good to get back into the program that Heather and I had initially set of worship music, weekly Bible story review, and then prayer stations. We always have some amazing moments with the kids during this time where they share parts of their story that we have never heard, share how they are truly feeling, or show their trust in and desire for God in unexpected ways.

Life Skills (therapy) sessions and Character Classes continue to go well. Many of the kids are showing improvement both in and out of sessions. It is huge blessing to be able to work with other Heart to Heart staff members who are willing to help enforce boundaries and procedures that help the kids deal with their emotions in a positive way. While I was in the States I took a training to become a Certified Anger Management Specialist. As part of the training I need to lead several anger management groups over the next six months. I have started two groups at Voluntari, one with four younger kids and one with three older boys. The older boys in particular have really enjoyed the group and have even asked that we continue for "5 months" (their exact words)!

Even though there is still snow on the ground, summer planning is already under way! Heather and I have been meeting weekly with Jen and Jenny to begin talking about curriculum, themes, interns, and teams. It is exciting to have the ball rolling so early in the year and we hope and pray that it will mean a smoother, more enjoyable summer for everyone involved.

Coming up in March...

Character Classes, Life Skills sessions, Sunday morning praise and prayer, Anger Management groups, Youth Groups, and Bible Class will continue throughout March. At the end of March we will be welcoming the CCC and Mission Possible teams. We also have a gathering for the transition graduates planned for later in March.

Giving and Support Information

As many of you probably know, I am planning to extend my stay here in Romania past my initial three year commitment. I pray that you will prayerfully consider supporting my ministry in the years to come. If you are already giving there is no need to "recommit"; simply continue with your monthly giving plan as established. If you would like to begin supporting me, please use the link below to visit Heart to Heart's giving page and start your giving plan today. www.h2hint.org/index.php/h2h/give/

God is doing amazing things in and through me here in Romania. I would not be here today without everyone's love and support. Thank you for all that you do! I look forward to continuing to share about my ministry for many years to come.

Prayer Requests/Praises

Praises: I was able to start Anger Management classes at Voluntari. Our Bible teaching programs have gotten back on schedule. Summer planning is already underway and we are already making progress in several areas. Life Skills sessions and Character Classes are continuing to go well and we are continuing to notice progress with several kids. Prayer Requests: Continue to pray for our kids, especially at Periș, as they are beginning to become more open and willing to share their stories with us. We are seeing lots of really positive changes taking place and pray that the kids, and we as well, will be protected from Satan's attacks. Pray that the kids will continue to seek Christ and that we will be able to provide them with constancy, stability, and a feeling of safety. Pray for times when we as staff can get rest and refueling and that we will stay in a healthy mindset. Pray for summer ministry and that doors will open (or close) as needed to provide our kids with opportunities to meet with God and grow their relationship with Him. Pray that I will continue to make connections with other mental health professionals here in Romania.

Overwhelmed

Today was another day of camps with the kids. It started out pretty much like any other day with Bible stories, snacks, games, and singing. And then, as we usually do, we let the kids go swimming in the pool. As I was floating around on a pool noodle in the "apa mare" (deep end), I took a minute to look around. As I did I had an overwhelming sense of joy in my heart and I realized: I really love these kids.

I don't have a "special connection" with all of them. Some of them can't remember my name, have never met me, and/or call me by the wrong name on a fairly consistent basis. But I still love them.

I love them for being them. I love them for their smiles. I love them for their courage. I love them for using me as a floatation device (thus nearly drowning both of us in the process).

I love when they leap into our arms with confidence. I love when they light things on fire. I love when they kiss our cheeks. I love when they pinch our arms until they bruise. I love them when they are being good. I love them when they are being bad. I love them.

I love that I get the opportunity to work with these kids. To be a part of their lives. To be the parent that they need...even if just for a few minutes in the pool on a hot summer afternoon.

Happy Birthday to Me!

I wrote this yesterday morning (June 25th) but didn't get the chance to post it until today. Apologies...

Today is my birthday and I'm turning 32. When I turned 30 I had a feeling this was going to be the best decade of my life. So far it seems to be headed in that direction.

Professionally, I feel like I have finally found my calling. I love mental health therapy. I love working with the most troubled kiddos. For almost two and half years I worked at a job that I really enjoyed, even though there were times it got pretty tough. In less than a week I will be following my calling even further to Romania where I will be in the trenches with orphaned and abandoned kids almost every single day and I can't wait.

Spiritually, I feel like I'm tracking pretty well with God (though we can always do better, right?). I have setbacks but I have really seen God do some awesome things in my life. I feel peace and joy in my spirit that weren't there five or six years ago. I am more grateful than I ever have been for God's saving grace. I'm still learning lessons but I feel like I get the lesson quicker and I experience restoration in my relationship with God immediately, a feeling that I struggled to find, sometimes for months or years, in the past. These are things that I have wrestled with over the years and I feel like, maybe, I'm finally starting to get the picture.

I have had the joy of spending the last 3 years building closer relationships with my family members. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents. I've gotten to spend more time with my grandparents than in many years past. I have an awesome nephew who inspires me to be a better person. I have amazing kids who continue to grow and change in ways that five years ago I never thought possible.

My sweet nephew hanging out with me on my bed.

My Iuli, who is awesome.

My Ionut, who is also awesome.

My girls, Catalina and Albina...also awesome.

My George...you guessed it, another awesome kid!

My Mirela, truly an awesome girl.

As I look ahead to the next year I'm filled with excitement. I'm so thankful to my family and friends for letting me go be a mom to my kids on a daily basis for awhile. I'm grateful to God for the huge blessings He has given me over the last year. I'm ready to tackle the next challenge and see where life takes me. Yesterday, I moved 20 huge boxes of donations for my nonprofit from one storage unit to another all by myself. Then I went to an indoor trampoline center and bounced with my little cousins for two hours. At the end of the day I felt strong, not old (well, until this morning when I woke up with shoulder and neck pain, then I felt a little bit old). I want to always be able to play soccer when my kids ask me to. I want to be able to go swimming in the summer for hours at a time. I want to run and jump and kiss and hug and flip and climb trees if that's what's needed to show my kids and my nephew that I love them.

This is everything I moved by myself.

Playing soccer last year with my kids.

So, happy birthday to me! Here's to another beautiful year full of new and exciting experiences, growth, and love.

Why is God so Good?

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. - 1 Peter 5:8-10 (NIV)

Why do I have such a hard time believing that God is good? Just this weekend God used someone close to me to teach me that the devil is alive and he will come after those who seek God at the times they are the weakest. He will catch them in a moment when their guard is down. When they think, "I've got this. No big deal," he will try to devour. And God will let him. Because we should always be alert. It's tiring, yes, but God has called us to bigger and better things.

I have asked that God refine me and prepare me for the next step, to go out to the nations and share His love. Just a reminder folks, don't pray for something if you don't mean it. Whenever I try to tell God, "Ok, ok...I get it...I've got it under control." God gently but firmly says, "You need to give this over to me. You need to let it go. We can't move forward when you are still holding onto this earthly thing. I have something bigger for you. But you have to admit you are powerless. Then I will make you strong." What a hard lesson to learn sometimes! And, man, I can be stubborn too!

But, God is good.

The verse above says that "after a little while" God will "restore you." God's timing is always so...unpredictable. Sometimes "a little while" means several years and sometimes it means just a few hours. But I always think, in my humanness, that God will drag out the teaching. He'll drag out my "punishment" if you will. I have a hard time believing the good things I receive after I have just been a sinner in my finest: I wake up reconciled with others but I still walk around on egg shells. Do I not believe that God can restore relationships? I find a message from someone I admire reaching out to connect with little ol' me. Do I not believe that God will open doors for me? Do I not believe that God is good? Do I not believe when He says He will give me "a crown of beauty instead of ashes"? Why do I always think that I deserve eternal punishment when God says, "I'm waiting for you to turn to me so I can bring you blessings"?

Wow...how sad that I do this ALL. THE. TIME. And then, worst of all, I miss out on the blessings because I'm still wallowing in the guilt of my sin.

Y'all, God is good. He loves us so much, even when we totally don't deserve it. He wants to teach us, not to punish us, but to bring us to greater joy, to draw us closer to Him, to pour out blessings. He wants us to turn away from things that look good on the outside but will end up hurting us. The next time I have a setback (and it will happen because I'm just a human being after all) I hope I remember this.

New Year

I truly love days where you are forced to just rest and be still. Today, most shops are closed (or should be), there is no work to rush off to, no obligations to attend to. I'm thankful for this kind of day. They are so very few and far between. I was looking back at what I was doing this time last year and, in some ways, I was much less "busy" then than I am now. I feel a real weight of responsibilities at work that never seem to end and I feel a constant "push" at my back that reminds me the job is never finished. Strangely though, I'm nowhere near as anxious or stressed as I would have been this time last year with this much responsibility hanging over my head. God, in his sovereignty, taught me how to rest in Him and cast off my anxiety in anticipation of this moment. He taught me to sense when work was starting to overwhelm me and to step back and assess rather than get caught up in the moment and be swept away by fear and doubt. While I certainly wish most days that I had another 24 hours to accomplish all that needs to be done, I just do what I can and move on. I'm learning to look at a job and think, "How can this be done more efficiently? Who needs to be trained to help with this task? How can I train them in the way that is most beneficial to me and to them?" I know that learning to think this way is going to serve me well in the future. I look at systems and I see the brokenness. But it's not enough for me to recognize that they system is broken, God has placed a desire in my heart to fix the system and heal the people affected. Through this healing process God's power and goodness are revealed. I only pray that God continues to give me wisdom and guidance because I'm definitely the least qualified for the job!

I praise God that today is a day when I can feel the "push" ease a little. Where I can see that things may never get easier and the burden may never get lighter but that I am getting stronger. I'm so grateful for a moment to rest and be away from the responsibilities, even just for a minute. I pray that God will continue to provide these days throughout this year at just the time I need them.

I Think They Know in Their Hearts

I'm always amazed each time I go to Romania which kids end up being drawn to me and me to them. Sometimes I end up spending time with kids I have known for a long time but who drift in and out of their interest in being with me. Sometimes I spend time with kids I hardly know at all. And, of course, there are some kids I always spend time with.

Of all the places we visit I'm always most interested to see how my time at Voluntari will go. The orphanage is full of younger kids so they are less likely to remember me from visit to visit. This time I ended up being with one little boy, Alberto, quite a bit, especially during our second week.

I actually knew Alberto from the time he first arrived at the orphanage. I distinctly remember him because he was one of the only kids there who was still in diapers. He was such a little cutie with his big eyes and chubby little cheeks!

Making crafts (Summer 2012)

At the pool party (Summer 2012)

Swinging (Summer 2012)

Alberto was around the other times that I went (though I seem to lack much photographic evidence of such) and I'm sure that I spent a little time with him here and there but, overall, we haven't had a whole lot of interactions. Little Alberto got integrated into the 30 plus "grădiniță" (preschool and kindergarten aged kids) at Voluntari.

Getting Christmas presents (Winter 2012/2013)

Sitting with Ms. Cherri (Winter 2013/2014)

Front and center (in the blue stripes) to show off his snowflake craft (Winter 2013/2014)

I hate to say that Alberto got lost in the crowd but as a very quiet and very well behaved (relative to all his peers of course) little boy he sometimes got overlooked for the kids who were running in circles, climbing on the tables, and yelling at the top of their lungs. But this time around, he picked me.

I spent one day playing a little on the playground with him (I think I took an interest in his trucks or something like that) and from then on he would find me. He'd stick out his little hand and I'd take it and we'd be on our way.

At outdoor worship time the day we decided to be best buds.

I can't explain why some kids decide after all the years, after all the visits, after all the time why they are ready to let you into their little world.

The Day of 100 Selfies (literally...he took over 120 pictures sitting on my lap one afternoon).

I don't know if Alberto really remembered me from all the visits before. I don't know if any of the little kids do. But I do believe that God helps them remember in their hearts if not in their heads.

A Most Unusual Thing

Saturday morning I had one of the most random and awesome things ever happen to me...

I was outside Highland Bakery in Inman Park eating breakfast with my parents, brother, sister-in-law, and cousin.

Not my pic but this is the Highland Bakery. [Source]

As we were sitting there a guy approached me and asked me about my shirt. I was wearing my Defend the Fatherless shirt I got from the Together for Adoption conference last year.

Definitely not me but this is the shirt. [Source]

I explained that it was about orphan care and then I told him about Walking With Orphans. He told me he had seen me when I came inside to use the bathroom and had felt like he was being lead to come and talk with me and pray over me. He then proceeded to bless me with some of the most encouraging words I've ever heard. My mom and I were both almost in tears. After giving me his words of encouragement, he prayed over me and asked for blessings for my ministry.

I know this doesn't sound like much but when I think about how God orchestrated it all, it blows my mind. I know it was no random happenstance that we met. I've been praying continually for God to confirm His calling on my life and this was one of those moments that I know He was speaking directly to me.

I could not be more thankful for the experience. And, needless to say, it got my day off to a fantastic start!

Counting my Blessings: Week 10

1.-10. Rescue and redemption through the sacrifice at the cross and Jesus' resurrection.

Really this blessing could count for my entire life. It was good to be reminded at church today how I was saved from condemnation by a God who never intends or wants to condemn us. I have called to Him from a place of despair and He heard me and rescued me because He loves me. Not because I'm good enough, not because I could ever do enough but because He loves me. It still baffles me. It's hard to fathom that anyone could love me and my messy, messed up, off the tracks life to step in and take the blame for all those messy, messed up, off the tracks things I did and save me. I deserved to be left to my own doom but I don't have to fear that because I have an amazing and gracious Savior who LOVES ME.

And the amazing thing is that He loves all creation. Every single person is precious to Him. I wish I could say that...that I look on my fellow man with love and compassion. But I don't always do that. It's horrible but I'm human and I don't love others like I should. I'm trying. Some days I try harder than others and some days it's easier than others. In my line of work I'm learning to look at the situation from all sides: to love our kids in their brokenness and heartache, to love their parents with all their wrongdoings and poor choices, to love the politicians and law makers who make the work harder...and I'm getting there. Thankfully, I'm not God. Because His love is automatic. It's knee jerk. It's infinite. It's everything our human love would like to be but isn't.

I struggle. I struggle. SO. MUCH. I'm fearful and afraid and worried and anxious. Sometimes I want to lie down when I should be getting up. I drive through neighborhoods and want a little retro house with a white picket fence, a husband, some kids, and a screened in porch for my cat. I want to read US Weekly instead of the latest update on Ukraine or U.S./Russian politics. I want to melt into the woodwork sometimes when I know I was made to go against the grain. Today was a good day though. A day when Jesus reminded me He is alive and He is here among us. The Holy Spirit is alive and well. I need to get out of this world and do what I'm called for. And I know it will fill my soul.

I'm still going to keep struggling. God didn't promise easy, just that He would never leave us. And if you are struggling, and sinking, on your own Jesus will lift you too. All you have to do is cry out for rescue.

Counting my Blessings Weeks 1-9 here.

Counting my Blessings: Weeks 8 and 9

You get a two-fer since I didn't take the time to post for last week.

Ways I've been blessed in the last few weeks...

1. Unexpectedly running into a friend at the UGA baseball game who has been in Afghanistan for the last year.
2. Having dinner with above mentioned friend, another friend I haven't seen in several months (friend #2), and friend #2's girlfriend.
3. Dinner with my "twin" Marissa on Friday night (sometimes we think so much alike it is scary).
4. Having someone write a grant proposal for Walking With Orphans.
5. Getting our first monthly supporter for Walking With Orphans!
6. Figuring out something technical on the computer without any help.
7. Finding out I'm getting money back from my taxes.
8. Getting approval to take my licensure test.
9. Getting a 97% on our treatment plans during our insurance audit.
10. Getting a 100% on our assessments during our insurance audit.
11. Sunday afternoon naps.
12. Spring time weather.
13. Walking the dog.
14. Conquering my anxiety over a situation.
15. Being with my family.
16. Seeing my mom get passionate about making a difference in people's lives.
17. Spending some one on one time with my dad while my mom was out of town.
18. Air conditioning.
19. Feeling like I got over a hump in my Romanian lessons.
20. Sinus surgery. I got it done several years ago and I can actually breathe during allergy season. I was so miserable for so long. Thank you Dr. Gadlage!

Here's weeks 1-7 of you want to catch up.

Counting My Blessings: Week 7

A little late but better late than never...

Also... here's the rest if you want to catch up!

1. Getting to be a soccer mom.

George and Iuli are on the far left but I know and love all these boys! They won 3rd place in a local tournament!

2. My friend Christina's cooking. Especially her cheese dip. Which she made special for me a few weeks ago. And saved some when I couldn't stay to eat it then.
3. 90's alternative rock.
4. and 5. My boss and my supervisor. I've worked with people who were difficult to approach, didn't listen to your concerns, didn't practice what they preached, did things without explanation, punished you for your passions, were quick to judge and quicker to hand down judgment, and put unreasonable expectations on you. My boss and my supervisor are nothing like that. I love working with them and respect them for their patience and consideration when working with me.
6. My parents and their understanding when I've had a long, hard day and just want to take a bath go to sleep.
7. A home gym where I can get a quick work out in.
8.  This knitting pattern. Because sometimes life is too complicated for anything besides a dishcloth.
9. Central heating and air. I've needed both this week and it gets pretty miserable with only one or the other.
10. My loud and crazy family:

Post by Cathy Snyder.

Counting My Blessings: Week 6

So, there have been quite a few blessings this week even though they got a little lost in other things. It was good to sit and think back on them today.

1. Giving a good presentation to my mom's small group on our trip to Romania.
2. Getting a note from my sweet boy, Iuli!
3. Not having to work a 12 hour day on Friday.
4. Not having to work on Saturday.
5. Leaving the windows open and letting in some fresh air.
6. Knowing that friend Elena is on her way to the States.
7. Having a great lunch with my friend Pam and her daughter Jamie and getting to talk about our kids half way around the world and what we can do for them.
8. Translating two paragraphs from English to Romanian and feeling pretty good about my ability to do so.
9. Eating some of my friend Christina's amazing nacho dip.
10. Having someone who cared enough about me to take me aside and ask me how I'm really doing.

In other news...ya'll pray for me. We start week two of our audit prep and I'm already beyond stressed. I had an emotional walk/talk with my mom tonight and she remarked that my work tends to take a toll on me very quickly. It does not bode well that by 9:15 tonight I was already peeved about something that had happened and I've been doing damage control for the last 45 minutes to make sure that everyone gets to work, gets their 12 hours, takes care of the things that need to be taken care of, and are able to go home and have a life.

Go here for other weeks of counting my blessings.

Counting my Blessings: Week 5

A few days late but better late than never!

1. Hot showers
2. Ceiling fans
3. A home cooked meal (almost) every night
4. Chocolate
5. Snuggles with Red, our cat who lives in the basement (which sounds creepy but really isn't, our basement is pretty nice)
6. Having a home gym
7. Waking up to the sound of rain
8. Abundant donations to the nonprofit
9. Not working late on a Friday
10. Pictures of the kids in Romania popping up on my friends' Facebook pages :)

Here's to another blessed week!

Previous Weeks:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4

Counting My Blessings: Week 4

1. Ice cream
2. Warm bed
3. Nook
4. The awesome people I work with.
5. Wine and pasta (a two-fer)
6. Naps
7. My cat
8. Ranch dressing
9. Technology that lets me text with people half a world away.
10. No displays of violence in Ukraine this week.

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3

Masterclass

"Oh Music! Miraculous art! A blast of of thy trumpet and millions rush forward to die; a peal of thy organ and uncounted nations sink down to pray."-Benjamin Disraeli

Today I had an amazing worship experience. My friend, John Waller, was playing an organ dedication service at his small church home in Norcross and invited me to go. I'm so glad that I did.

Mount Carmel United Methodist Church is the kind of quaint, country church that has the feeling of being around for 100 years (maybe it has been). Before I even walked in the door I had been greeted by someone, ushered in, and handed a bag of pamphlets describing the church and its functions.

The congregation is small and made up of families who like they've been coming for many generations. The priest walks the aisles of the church in the middle of the sermon and asks for prayer requests and praises. The choir loft seats about 10 people. They use hymnals and have pew Bibles. And they have an epic cemetery next to the parking lot.

I have a love for old cemeteries. And this one was just about as perfect as they come!

The whole service was something of a welcome relief from my normal Sunday experience. Don't get me wrong, I love, love, LOVE my church. My pastor is amazing and the music is an event in and of itself. But my church is very big. We have thousands of people on campus each week. Sometimes you can feel a little lost. The message may not seem as personal. You think you can brush it off and forget about what the pastor said during the week. You could fall asleep or text during the service and no one would know. You could stop coming to church altogether and no one would know. Not so at Mount Carmel. Everything seemed so personal and gripping. It was definitely intimate. And, on top of that, they have a hidden treasure in their midst...my friend John.

John getting ready to perform. The organ console is right in the middle of the choir loft. Believe it or not I was sitting in the back of the church.

John is one of the best musicians I know. He has studied under Julliard trained musicians and does organ dedications practically as a job. He takes artistic liberties that some people only dream of and he takes them well. He is soulful and passionate. And most of all, he loves Jesus.

It was a joy to see John today and to hear him play. I was blessed by the music (made me remember why music was my first love and how much I miss hearing real music performed well). I was blessed by the church. The whole event was truly a blessing. I knew when I first sat down that God was in our presence. I'm glad I got to have an intimate experience with Him.

Counting my Blessings: Week 3

This week was kind of hectic and crazy. I'm a week behind in work at the office and I've got lots on my plate but I'm going to choose to focus on the positive. Here's my blessings from this past week:

1. Going to a wedding.

2. Attending a DFCS luncheon at work. I got to eat some good food and I got out of reading and auditing medical charts for a little while :)

3. Being asked to take on some new responsibilities at work. Though it means more admin tasks for me it also means that my bosses trust me.

4. Getting the ball rolling on a potential intern for the nonprofit.

5. Interesting dreams. I love to dream and the last few nights I've had some that I actually remembered.

6. A good Romanian lesson. All week I was stressed out because I wasn't really on top of my homework game. And I was struggling to understand some of the connecting words (on, at, towards, etc.). At my lesson on Saturday I was able to grasp some things that I had previously had trouble on. And my teacher didn't check all my homework :) She told me that next week we will spend half the time working on conversations and that I was getting to the point where I would no longer have to translate in my head. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and I felt pretty good about things after that.

7. Granny smith apples. Mom picked some up at the store this week. They're my favorite and this batch was perfect! (Sometimes it's the little things.)

8.  Using my sand tray in play therapy for the first time. It was a hit!

9. Emailing with my Russian sister, Nastia. So glad I get to help her ministry out. We are both praying that we will meet each other in person soon. She is definitely my kindred spirit.

10. Making it through another week! I know this one is kind of a cop out but 1. this was a rough week and 2. sometimes you just have to appreciate the obvious stuff!

Here's the previous weeks if you are interested:
Counting my Blessings: Week 1
Counting my Blessings: Week 2

Counting my Blessings: Week 2

1. Spring weather this week! Praise the Lord!
2. Starting a new book (When Rain Hurts) on my Nook and loving it.

My Nook in the hand knit case I made for it. Kind of looks like Cookie Monster!

3. Getting to spend some girl time with my best friend and hearing how God is moving and working in her life.
4. Getting a huge shipment of new donations for Walking With Orphans!

5. A good therapy session with one of my clients. Some weeks can be up and down. This week was kind of "eh" for most of my clients but I felt like one in particular had a very therapeutic session this week. Pray for her as she transforms from her old brokenness into a new person.
6. Fridays! Man, sometimes the weekends are such a blessing! There is nothing better than reaching the finish line of a long week and being able to relax.
7. Hearing from my friend Talitha who is in Romania and being reminded of my boys and all the kids I love there. Sometimes these thoughts are bittersweet but the kids have been on my mind a lot recently and the thought of their faces brings me great joy :)
8. Supervision at work. It's nice to be reminded that we're in this together.
9. Getting back into my Bible study with a book about helping the poor and orphaned.
10. Bubble baths! I take one most nights and last night I sat in there for almost and hour just relaxing and reading. What a blessing!

Find the other weeks below:
Counting my Blessings: Week 1

Counting My Blessings: Week 1

So, as I have mentioned before, I'm something of a worrywart. I can, and frequently do, get worked up over the smallest of things. This has been going on for a good many years now and I'm actually starting to suffer physically because of it. I'm determined to take control of this though. I've started sleeping better and I have boundaries around my free time now. Before I freak out about something I try and approach it logically and I try to remind myself to stop and pray.

This weekend I was having a somewhat trying time with my anxiety. I knew it was because the week before I had been really slack with my quiet time and journaling (and, by default, my prayer time). On Sunday I decided I wanted to do something to remind myself that life isn't all about worry and stress. Our pastor was preaching from James and there were two verses I found that stuck out to me:

"...Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you..." - James 4:7b-8a

There are two things I must do: resist the devil and come near to God. I have to actively push away from the devil and then purposefully move towards God. If I get slack then I'm no longer getting closer to God (I might even be getting further away) and I'm susceptible to the devil's tricks. For me that means my anxiety will get worse. Satan has wormed his way into my thinking over years of unguarded and unbridled disobedience and if I give him an inch of room he will turn it into a full blown panic attack.

So, what I have I decided to do? I'm going to count my blessings. Each week I'm going to think of 10 things that I was blessed with during the week and I'm going to share them here. Hopefully I will end up making this a daily habit and then share the 10 best with you at the end of the week.

Last week's is a little late but I want to get this kicked off. Without further ado, here are 10 things I was blessed with last week:

1. Meeting a new friend who loves Jesus, orphans, and Eastern Europe as much as I do!
2. The promise of spring that was in the air on Sunday afternoon.
3. The fact that all of my friends and family stayed safe during the ice storm last week.
4. Getting better at my Romania and starting to feel like I may actually learn this!
5. Watching the Olympics with my mom.
6. A rainstorm (I love the sound of rain!).
7. Walking our dog after being stuck inside for most of the week.
8. Learning that my Romanian friend Elena is coming to the States in March to start college!
9. Learning that 2 of my friends from the boys transition program in Romania made public professions of faith on Sunday!
10. Knitting a sweater for a child in need with yarn that I dyed myself.

Yes, I'm definitely blessed!